Today was quite an eventful day for us. The girls and I met Michelle and Kailey at the zoo. The sun was barely out, yet I still decided to put sunscreen on Sanaah (I'll get back to the sunscreen later) The hightlight of our animal visit came rather unexpectantly and well lasted about 1 minute.
Sanaah was most interested in the baboons (its just so facinating that they have such big, blue butts!) A small but eager crowd gathered as the agressive male decidedly plopped himself down right in front of us. Cameras were snapping away and kids were giggling. Without warning...Mr' Alpha male whips out his skinny, long penis and begins stroking himself (with 2 paws!) We erupt in pure astonishment and embarrassment as this baboon is going to town. "Mommy..why is he doing that?" a young 7-8 yr old asks "ummm..thats just what monkeys do honey" I was so transfixed/embarrassed that I forgot to run and get my camera...damn..another photo opp missed!!
Shae and I have this knack for catching animals in their most intimate moments...a few years back at the zoo, shae and I interrupted the OSTRICHES goin at it. The scence was naughty and well I never knew an ostrich's penis was so big...I still shudder at that memory...
back to the sunscreen...so as I was walking out of the zoo, about 4 hours later..I notice that my wedding ring is not on...I took it off in the morning when I was applying sunscreen to Sanaah....well anyways...I go into panic mode and re-traced my steps, checked at lost and found and then I had a mini-breakdown in front of a lady and her kids who were helping me look for it. To no avial...my ring is gone....I LOST my wedding ring guys!!! I filed a police report and pray that some jack ass is dumb enough to pawn it...
So I cried most of the afternoon and then decided to try to cheer myself up. Warning: the prescription I am about to reveal is not intended for everyone...
so Shae suggests that we do the tattoo ring thing and you know what..I was down. So the fix for my retarded and embarrassing actions included a #2 at McDonalds AND a hot-fudge sundae AND a purple star tattoo behind my right ear...yes...you read correctly...I got another tattoo! We are going back to do the ring thing once we decide on a design.
Now you may be thinking...tattoos..ring tattoos..how gay and so Pamela Anderson...and to you I say...worrying about the size of a diamond is gay...I was caught up in the glitz of my ring. By having it on sunddenly I was a better person, more confident. Through the tears, I came to realize its just a thing...an expensive thing...but nonetheless...still a thing. My marriage is not suddenly over because now I dont have a rock on my hand. Im sad, yes, but not ruined.
By the way...do they still make that diamond-ique jewelry?
Saturday, April 19, 2008
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